Survivor luncheon

Yesterday I went to the FW Komen "In the Pink" Survivor Luncheon. There were women of all stages of breast cancer there, newly diagnoses and going through treatment, ladies in remission, and ladies that have been in remission for decades. Having breast cancer is such a huge part of my life, for more reasons than just the obvious. It has allowed me to meet some of the most strong and amazing women I have ever met, hands down. You would never know by looking at them now just what they have been though. Some of the women are no longer with us, and others are only here by a miracle.

When I was going through treatment, and shortly there after, people could look at me and know that I had cancer, and believe me...I got lots of stares. People staring at you like you are some freak of nature because you are wearing a scarf on your head, and wanting so badly to yell out, "Hello!!! I see you staring at me!". My situation was also different because I was so young. There aren't a lot of 27 year olds with cancer. Even at my oncologists office, I was known as "the 27 year old" among all 12 doctors! They all knew who I was, and some of the nurses would actually say "Oh YOU'RE the 27 year old with breast cancer". They were not ugly about it, they were very sweet. My case was talked about because like I said, it's not every day you come across someone so young with breast cancer.

Looking at me now you would have no idea that I had cancer. My scars are fading and my hair is back to normal...thanks to highlights of course. I always meet new people at breast cancer events, and hearing these women's stories always get to me. You would not believe some of the things these women have had to go through, and you would never know by looking at them. I am a member of a survivor group, Young Survivors of Tarrant County, and it is all women that were under (or around) 40 when they were diagnosed. I love this group and our monthly meetings! Support groups aren't for everyone, and I totally respect that. But when I was diagnosed, the one thing I said is if one person hears my story and does a self breast exam, or tells their friends, then it's all worth it. Having the lumpectomy, getting a punctured lung from my port surgery, losing my hair and having to wear a wig at my wedding, days where I couldn't get out of bed, losing my eyebrows (that never came back), delaying my honeymoon because I had to start radiation two days after my wedding...it was all worth it. The survivor group allows me to share my story with others and hopefully offer some comfort to women that might be in the same shoes I was in. I might not ever know if my story made an impact on somebody, but I hope in my heart that it has, or will in the future.

I will never say that I am "thankful" that I got cancer, that is definitely not the word. But I can't imagine what my life would be like without it, and unfortunately I will never be able to completely shut it out, as recurrence is always going to have a small place in the back of my mind. And to be honest, I don't want to know, because I am so happy with where my life is right now and wouldn't have it any other way.

Remember something good ALWAYS comes out of something "bad".

Three Months Old

Where does the time go? Three months,already? I have to say that I LOVE being Presley and Marshall's mommy. They are sweet, playful, funny, adorable, the list goes on and on! They are laughing so much these days, and it still gets me every time. Watching another creature(s) discover the world is hands down the neatest thing I think I will ever see.

Presley is sleeping about 7-8 hours at night, while Marshall is eating about every four hours. We put them to bed between 8-9, then I usually get up with Marshall around 1 and then 4:30ish. Presley usually sleeps till 4:30...which is just before Kyle's alarm goes off. He's determined to teach her to sleep an extra 30 minutes. :) I am reading BabyWise (and taking it with a grain of salt, mind you) and I am going to start trying different tactics with Marshall to try and get him sleeping longer at night. It's certainly not that he is lacking in the nutrients department...he weighs a little over 14 lbs! Presley weighs about 13.5 lbs.

They are both laughing and talking so much! Marshall loves it when Kyle does his own version of "patty cake", he laughs so hard every time. Presley and Marshall both really enjoy "playing with the fishies" (as I like to call it), or sitting in the Happy Aquarium bouncy seat and watching the fish and bubbles. It gets Presley every time, granted that she is in a good mood of course. :)

I'm always wondering who will crawl first, or who will talk first. It changes daily. :) Marshall is quite the little mover, as he always has been. He kicks his legs constantly whether it be laying on his play mat, or in the bouncy seat. This is one reason why we don't put them on the same blanket and play mat. We don't want them to hate each other already!

They are both everything I could have ever hoped for, and more. I love them more than I could ever put into words, and they truly light up my life. (corny, I know) I am so proud to be their Mommy!




kicking away!





L-O-V-E this one







ruh-roh



the spit up ruined our sticker




wasn't in the mood



pouty face!

Just so you know...

When someone has boy/girl twins, there is NO WAY they can be identical! I get asked this question quite a bit. Instead of looking at them like they are an idiot (like I want to), I smile and politely tell them no. Identical means they have the exact same genetic make up, and last time I checked boys were much different than girls in many ways. :)

So here is a little science lesson for you. Identical twins happen when one egg is fertilized, then splits in two. Identical twins will always be the same sex. Fraternal twins occur when two separate eggs happen to get released and both get fertilized. Basically it's just like two siblings that happen to be born at the same time. Fraternal twins may or may not be the same sex. We implanted two embryos, therefore we got fraternal twins.

Hopefully you enjoyed my mini lesson, whether you learned something new, or got a refresher. :)

Bumbo

We tried out the bumbos this weekend. Presley did really good, she sat in it for quite a while. She put her arms on the sides like she was in a recliner, too cute! Marshall tolerated it for a little bit, but he doesn't have the neck stability that Presley does, so he didn't stay in it as long. In the shot of the two of them, they were looking up at me while Kyle was taking the picture, but that is pretty much how Marshall looked the whole time he was in there.

Lol

Marshall was laying on his play mat, and all of a sudden I thought I heard a laugh. So I look down and he has the biggest smile on his face and he closes his eyes and laughs really loud! And I'm not talking about a baby laugh, it was an adult laugh. It was SO cool! Of course I then tried to get it on video and he went back to smiling and baby laughs. He is such a happy little boy!

How do you do it?

That is a question I get asked quite frequently, along with "you take care of them all day by yourself?", "you mean you don't have a nanny?", and "I could never handle twins!"

My answer is, "Well, I just do it." I mean for one thing, I have to! What am I going to do, not take care of my kids because it's hard? And in all honesty, for me it hasn't been super difficult. Now before you think I am on my high horse, I am by no means mother of the year! I am not saying that ALL twins are easy, I just happen to be blessed with two pretty good babies. Now don't get me wrong, they definitely have their moments, and I would never, ever say that it has been easy. There have been several emotional breakdowns/crying sessions, where I just pray to make it through the next 10 minutes. However those are getting fewer as the babies get older. I will probably look back in a few years and think, "How in the world did I do that?" The same thing happened when I was going through chemo and radiation. So many people told me how amazed they were at how well I handled everything, between work, my wedding, and treatment. Well, I didn't have a choice, so I just did it! Now, I look back and say to myself, "how in the world did I do that?"

I think a lot of people don't give themselves enough credit as to what they are capable of handling. I was freaking out at the thought of keeping the babies for the night by myself. However the closer it got, the more I realized I just needed to calm down...I knew I could do it. In the end, I had a wonderful evening and night with my babies, just the three of us. When you are in the moment, you will be amazed at what your mind and body can handle. My grandma always said, "this too shall pass" and when I am frazzled I tell myself that. Then, what do you know, the crazy moment has passed. :)

Daddy's home!

I made it through the days Kyle was gone. Things went pretty smoothly, but I am SO THANKFUL to have him home! Monday night my sister and the girls stayed with me. They got here around 7, which is usually (give or take) when we start our bedtime routine. Flash forward several hours and two excited cousins later and the babies were overstimulated, and awake. Marshall finally went down around 11, and Presley went down at 10:45, only to wake up again 30 minutes later. My sister gave her a bottle and she went to sleep around midnight.

Catherine and the girls left a little before noon to head down to see my parents. I was sad their visit had to be short. :( My friend Lauren was going to stay with me, but she woke up with a fever and a cold. My surrogate offered to come over, but I decided to put on my big girl panties and do it myself.

The babies did awesome! They were so sweet all day Tuesday, napping good, eating well, and playing. I was going to do everything I could to have no stimulation, so around 6 we started listening to the music channels on the television. Kyle has discovered that Marshall and Presley love the blues. I put it on and we just chilled to the music. Around 8 I started their "bedtime meal", and at 8:45 they were both asleep. I put Marshal in his crib...usually not a problem...and he was passed out. I just knew that Presley was going to be a different story, but I thought might as well give it a try. I laid her down in bed and she didn't move a muscle...again! I ran to get ready for bed, which took about two minutes since I never got out of my pj's that day...don't judge...and got in bed, just waiting to hear one of them cry. All I heard was silence, and it was golden!

Marshall woke up again at midnight, then not again until 4:30. Presley didn't wake up AT ALL until 4:45! Unfortunately she didn't go back to bed till 6 because she was still hungry, but Marshall went right to sleep. Sarah and I were headed up to our school district to see the new junior high they built (my old principal and a bunch of coworkers went with her), and I wanted to make sure I got a shower. So I set my alarm for 7, got up, showered, had breakfast, and the babies woke up around 8:45 to eat. We had a good time seeing some of my old coworkers, then ran to Target. Now, this afternoon they were a little cranky, but daddy got home at 3:30 and mommy then took a 2 hour nap!

Now, just because last night went well doesn't mean that I am ready to handle 4 days and 3 nights on my own when Kyle is gone the next time. My mom is still on the schedule to come up and stay with us. :)